The Tumblr I started one day when I was really bored 2 years ago has more followers than my actual page.

I’ll be updating fuckyeahbeerpong soon, but don’t hold your breath. That could be dangerous.

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Beer Pong vs. Beruit vs. Handgun


You say tomato. I say toMAHto.

You say potato. I say poTAHto.

You say whore. I say Saturday night entertainment.

Regardless whether you call it Beer Pong or Beruit, the Lehigh Valley is the birthplace of one of the most popular drinking games to ever aid in the cirrhosis of so many livers before their prime. Lafayette and Lehigh, the two bastions of kids who pop their collars and think engineering is cool, apparently invented it or something. Of course, there is no fucking proof whatsoever that would lead one to believe that either one of these second rate Div. 1 schools could come up with something so simple, yet so sublime, but whatever, I’ll give it to them.

Now, I called it Beruit only because that’s what everyone else called it when I got on campus. Initially, I thought it had something to do with hiding under the table while people threw ping pong balls AT you, but figured it out pretty quickly.

It’s the best game possibly ever created. I mean, who wants to sit around and drink when you can create a reason to actually have to pound beer that, by the time you drink it, is coated with whatever the fuck was on the ground and ping pong ball, coupled with whatever the fuck was on your friends’ fingers? YUM.

I was decent, but then there are people who are the fucking “Masters” or whatever. I mean guys who look forward to playing ALL FUCKING FRIDAY. Drawing out strategies in their Mead Five Stars during English Literature about how they are going to handle the “triangle of death” if it presents itself.

THOSE GUYS, while fun for all of 30 min, end up on the table all night and view it as a sign of prestige. Meanwhile, I am in the closet having sex with one of their girlfriends after I lost on the water cup. (Or I’m watching TV, whatever, don’t judge me you don’t know me!)

Hopefully, they wouldn’t have done this to me:

One man is dead and another in jail after what suburban Philadelphia police say was an argument over a drinking game that escalated into a fatal shooting.

Investigators say 24-year-old Joseph Jimenez shot and killed 25-year-old Scott Riley after they started arguing over a game of beer pong at a party Friday night in Bridgeport, about 15 miles outside Philadelphia.

Authorities say the two men began arguing over the game during a party then met up outside, where Riley mocked Jimenez and challenged him to shoot.

According to a police complaint Jimenez drew a concealed .40-caliber handgun and fired, striking Riley in the neck. Riley was taken to a hospital where he later died.

Jimenez is being held without bail on first- and third-degree murder charges. Source

Um, when did Beer Pong make it to the streets? This is a college game, right? Why are the inner city kids playing it? It’s like if you saw some kid wearing a baseball hat with a flat brim on his way to play some tennis. WTF is that all about?

See, THIS IS THE REASON you do not just give the keys to a BMW to some fucking hooligan. The game has to be treated with fucking respect.


Or handguns.

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One half of an old beer pong table we found in the basement at our friend’s apartment

One half of an old beer pong table we found in the basement at our friend’s apartment

210 cups on either side

210 cups on either side

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A little custom game.  These cups are unbelievably hard to hit

A little custom game.  These cups are unbelievably hard to hit

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Block that Bounce

Block that Bounce

An explanation for that few of you who have no idea what beer pong is

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